This is yet again a day when I am blessed with solitude. Another day that is kindling within me the despair of loneliness that has been a part of me since I guess I knew the analytical and psychological part of me getting married to each other. The only writings that I love are that of Kahlil and Coelho. Is it too much of philosophy or the water bearer me trying to dominate the conscience within me? Yet again….many a questions arisen, many a questions die. All that is left is time passing by.
Enough of philosophy! What is it again that is tempting me to write? Is it the auspicious October in which almost every year I lose a child …. Or is it the brood of the so called weekend syndrome? Nai! This time it is different. This time it is to understand what is it that makes me think apart from the hyper active grey substance in the mane covered skull of mine. I am not to write fiction! Sorry to say…. I ain’t a very good writer but I ain’t Robin Cook either! I am no Coelho, yet I have this urge to write. No more social issues! No more Indo- Pak … Soccer and the great economic depression bothers me! What bothers me is the quizzical contest that I play with myself quietly watching any of the so called reality shows, again trying to analyze human nature. Well, to say human nature would include a multitude of characteristics, which of course I don’t intend to do. I tend to understand the behavioral patterns. But why? For what good reason do I have to be so very critically analytical and at the same time judgmental? I am left clueless. I need to delve more to understand the reason that has made me of course not a very big “thinker”, but yes a thinker. This thinking software within me is the outcome of a natural progressive continuous improvement program, the so called CI. And yes! The intrusion of non shruti’s life’s elements has made matters worse. But yes! Soon would come a better version with better features, non talkative yet a better thinker! Cause I am programmed to think!!!
Adieu!
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